Drunk Tim

The Folks at Wetpaint posted the show's "get to know Tim" package and although its less than 2 minutes long, I figured I'd recap it for you because, well, that's what I do.

Tim's video starts in Little Italy. Tim is standing on the corner wearing a trench coat and he informs us that his name is Tim, that he is 35 and that we are in the best city in the world... New York before giving a familiar goofy smile that is apparently not reserved for nights that he will not remember.

Tim proceeds to attempt to give us a history lesson about Mulberry Street before he walks into a deli to meet his Fila tracksuit adorned godfather, Baby John, who acts surprised when Tim walks in despite the fact that the camera crew was set up 5 feet away from him to capture Tim's entrance and their greeting.

We are apparently meant to believe that the purpose of this meeting is for Tim to get his Godfather's advice on if he should go on The Bachelorette. The Godfather confirms that Tim should "go for it" saying that Tim might fall in love on this one. At the very least, maybe Tim will now realize that his Godfather doesn't give him very good advice. Baby John concludes, "You are a good man... stay that way and I'm sure you'll come out a winner." Giving the Godfather the benefit of the doubt, Tim must have stopped being a good man very shortly after leaving the deli.

The final thirty seconds of the package consist of a diary interview with Tim accompanied by video that bounces back and forth from Tim in a diary room wearing an almost completely unbuttoned button-down shirt and Tim standing on a beach somewhere wearing a partially leather jacket. Does anyone else see the irony in this juxtaposition?

Tim remarks that at 35, most of his friends have now gotten engaged, married or started families which has opened his eyes to the possibility of starting the next chapter of his life. I think his eyes should have been opened to the possibility after his first friend got engaged, married or started a family. Or maybe he's slow. Maybe, his eyes are finally open to the possibility that alcohol consumption may be detrimental to his sex life.

Tim concludes, "In a perfect world I walk outta here with a fiancée and true love." Sadly he couldn't even walk out of there without true love... he had to be carried.